


It's Just Like Poison In My Veins

by ShowMeAHero



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Injury, Major Character Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-23
Updated: 2011-09-23
Packaged: 2017-11-19 07:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/570882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShowMeAHero/pseuds/ShowMeAHero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin is mortally wounded in combat. No slash, but plenty of delightful plot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Just Like Poison In My Veins

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the song "Jealousy" by Darren Criss.

Merlin often questioned why his destiny was to protect Arthur's life. He was, of course, always willing to give his life up for Arthur's, but that had nothing to do with his destiny. It just had to do with Arthur. He'd give his life up for nearly anyone, and he often tried to, but he'd do that even without a destiny to fulfill.

He knew it was both his destiny and his desire to save Arthur right now, which is why he was risking his magic being revealed by shouting spells at the oncoming army. He knocked two soldiers attacking Arthur off their feet and into a stone wall just in time to save Gwaine from a soldier attacking from behind. He wished Lancelot were here to help, or at least give Merlin a feeling of support.

He forced himself to stop thinking and just acted; blowing an attacker into a tree, another onto Percival's sword. He took a deep breath and focused on finding Arthur again. He finally located him taking on three men at once. Merlin bellowed at them, words of the Old Religion flying through the air like knives to knock the men off their feet. Arthur looked up at him with wide eyes, and Merlin knew in that moment that Arthur knew his secret.

Merlin didn't think about it for long, though, when Arthur broke eye contact to look over Merlin's shoulder. His face twisted as he shouted something in Merlin's direction, but the words were lost as Merlin felt a sharp pain slice deep into and across his back, and he slipped into blackness.

* * *

"Merlin!" Arthur shouted as he dug his sword into an attacker and pulled it out again. He darted under clashing swords to his fallen advisor, pulling him out of the middle of the fighting. He pulled the limp body behind a tree and continued to fight for Camelot, and for Merlin.

When the fighting had finally ceased, and all members of the opposing army had either fled or fallen, Arthur desperately made his way to the tree hiding Merlin's body. He didn't know what he had been planning to do; maybe he thought that Merlin would've somehow used his magic - his  _magic_ , Merlin was a  _sorcerer_  - to save himself. But there he was, lying there on the dirty forest floor, unconscious.

Arthur just stood there, staring. He watched Merlin's slack face and nudged Merlin's leg with his foot.

"Merlin, get up, you clotpole." Arthur looked around as he spoke, watching his other knights picking their way over to him. "Merlin, don't be lazy. Get up."

"Arthur? What's wrong with Merlin?" Leon asked anxiously. Arthur sighed.

"Nothing's wrong. He probably just tripped or something." Arthur nudged Merlin again. "Merlin, get up, come on."

"I saw you drag him over here, Arthur. Did something happen during the battle?" Elyan asked. All the knights looked at Arthur's face. Arthur just stared down at Merlin.

"Yes." he whispered quietly. "Something happened during the battle."

Gwaine stepped up beside Merlin and kneeled down, turning Merlin onto his side to examine his back. He inhaled sharply and looked up at the knights.

"That doesn't look good." Gwaine stood up and turned to Arthur. "He needs to be brought to Gaius immediately."

Arthur dropped his sword and shield and fell to his knees. "Merlin?"

"Is he alive?" he heard Percival whisper to Gwaine. He didn't hear a response as he stared at Merlin's face.

"Well? Is he?" Arthur croaked before clearing his throat. Gwaine put a hand on Arthur's shoulder.

"Yes, but only just." Gwaine told Arthur quietly. Arthur just nodded and scrubbed his hands over his face.

"I'll carry him home." Arthur announced after a moment of silence, standing up and hefting up Merlin's light body. "Is he the only one who fell?"

"Yes, Sire." Elyan answered as he picked up Arthur's sword and shield.

"Then we will return to Camelot immediately." Arthur carefully avoided looking down at Merlin, and he set off down the pathway to home, ignoring the worried whispers trailing him.

* * *

Guinevere knocked gently at Gaius' door before entering. "Gaius?"

"Ah, Gwen, hello." Gaius greeted her with a warm tone, but he didn't seem to be able to bring himself to smile at her.

"Hello." Gwen held up a patched old bag. "Arthur's change of clothes."

"Of course." Gaius inclined his head towards Merlin's room. "I'm not sure if he's fallen asleep or not."

Gwen thanked Gaius and swiftly crossed the room to the small set of stairs leading into Merlin's room. She took a deep breath before climbing them and pushing the door open.

"Arthur? I have your change of clothes for today." Gwen put the bag down by the door and went to stand behind Arthur. Arthur had himself seated in a worn old chair, tiredly watching over Merlin. Gwen rubbed one of his shoulders absently.

"Is he any better?" she asked softly. He shook his head wearily.

"His fever hasn't broken yet. Gaius thinks the swords were tainted by sorcery. We're lucky no one else got injured." Arthur swallowed and looked up at Gwen. "Merlin should be able to fight this off easily."

"If he was gravely harmed by an enchanted sword, how could he easily fight it off?" Gwen asked as gently as she could. Arthur stared at her a moment before breaking his gaze.

"He couldn't, you're right. He's only ordinary, he's only small." Arthur returned to watching Merlin.

"He's also only Merlin. He can get through this, no matter how difficult it may be." Gwen assured Arthur. Arthur nodded and tugged on Gwen's hand, pulling her into his lap. Gwen did it to comfort him more than anything; she knew he needed it right now.

And so they sat in companionable silence until Arthur remembered a question he had.

"Who's Freya?" Arthur asked Gwen suddenly. "He says the name in his sleep sometimes."

Gwen thought for a moment. "I think I remember him saying the name once before. I don't remember who she was, though." she answered softly, and both she and Arthur jumped at the sudden voice from the doorway.

"Freya was a girl who came into Camelot once, years ago. She and Merlin fell in love." Gaius kept his eyes on Merlin as he spoke. "They were planning to leave together."

"Leave?" Arthur asked incredulously at the same time Gwen asked "Why didn't they?"

Gaius chose to answer Gwen's question only. "She died."

Silence fell over the room like a heavy blanket. Gwen wiped a few tears off her cheeks and looked at Merlin's pale face, which was shining with sweat. Arthur seemed confused.

"He fell in love and he didn't tell me." Arthur seemed disbelieving. "His love  _died_ , and he didn't tell me."

"Merlin wanted to keep that particular part of his life from you, I'd presume, Arthur." Gaius told him honestly. "He knows that you are, in your eyes, first and foremost, his employer and king. He didn't want to bother you, I'm assuming."

Arthur smiled a tiny bit. "He's never had a problem with that before."

Gwen laughed once, a giggle blended with a sob, and she buried her face in Arthur's neck. Arthur rubbed her back soothingly and looked up at Gaius.

"What can I do? I'll do anything." Arthur pleaded, for the hundredth time at least. Gaius shook his head and gave the same answer.

"I'm researching the magic. It's difficult. I'll have an antidote as soon as I can." Arthur opened his mouth to speak, but Gaius beat him to it this time. "No, there is no quest, no special amulet, no magical berry. Not this time."

Arthur's face fell. Gaius cleared his throat, and Arthur focused on him again. Usually there was no more to the answer. "Arthur, I am honestly doing everything I can. He suffered a mortal wound. We are lucky he's alive." Gaius paused. "I think of him as a son, Arthur. I will stop at nothing to save his life."

"I know you will, Gaius." Arthur turned his attention to Gwen, who was breathing evenly, her eyes closed against Arthur's skin.

"She's had a long day." Gaius told him quietly. "I'll put her in my bed."

"Thank you, Gaius." Arthur woke Gwen briefly and gave her arm to Gaius, so he could lead her out. Gaius returned shortly after.

"She's asleep and comfortable." he told Arthur. Arthur nodded and zoned back in on Merlin.

"He speaks from time to time. Bits and pieces of things." Arthur tried to create an opening for Gaius to tell him about Merlin's magic. He'd been trying for days. "Sometimes he speaks of the Old Religion."

"That's odd." Gaius murmured, turning Merlin over to examine the dressing on the wound. Arthur stood.

"Gaius, if there's any way we can fix him now, we should do it." Arthur said earnestly. Gaius looked up at him with confusion.

"If you're suggesting surgery, I don't have the right tools to do one so close to his spine without doing permanent damage to him." Gaius told him professionally. Arthur shook his head and decided to stop beating around the bush.

"Gaius, I know. I know Merlin has magic." Arthur's eyes dropped from Gaius' shocked face to Merlin's still body. "There is absolutely no way someone such as Merlin can be evil at all. Not all magic is bad." Arthur returned his gaze to Gaius. "Merlin's not bad."

"Merlin is not bad, no." Gaius took a deep breath and surveyed Arthur for a moment. "Let him tell you in his own time. He's scared."

Arthur opened his mouth to ask what Merlin could possibly be afraid of; after all, it was him, it was  _Arthur_ , but that was exactly it. He was Arthur; King Arthur of Camelot, son of the late King Uther, who was famous for his massacres of magical people. He closed his mouth again, and Gaius turned to leave.

"Gaius." Arthur called in a quiet voice. Gaius stopped at the door and turned around. Arthur swallowed and returned his attention to Merlin. "I am giving you permission as the king of Camelot to do whatever it is you need to do to save Merlin. I promise no harm will come to you because of it."

Gaius bent his head. "Thank you, Sire. I will start work immediately." Gaius, with that, turned and left Arthur and Merlin alone. Arthur watched over Merlin in silence.

* * *

"Gaius!" Arthur called, his voice panicked. He rose from his chair. "Gaius, he's shaking!"

Gaius hurried into the room to find that his patient was indeed shaking. Merlin was convulsing in his bed, and Arthur was trying to hold his arms down to make him stop. Various objects were throwing themselves across the room, books flipping through pages, bottles shattering, all untouched.

"Gaius, what do we do?" Arthur shouted. Gaius came behind Arthur and yanked his hands away.

"Let him do it." Gaius told him calmly. Arthur stared at him like he was crazy. "This is the effect I've been aiming for."

"The last potion you gave him is supposed to do this?" Arthur turned back to Merlin, tensed, as though he wanted to be ready to grab him.

"All the potions I gave him were supposed to do this. It's repelling the magic out of his body so it can properly heal the wound." Gaius moved around Arthur and carefully held his hand to Merlin's forehead, moving when his head jerked.

"What about his magic?" Arthur asked worriedly. Gaius looked up at him.

"His magic will be fine." Gaius rose an eyebrow. "Surely you wanted to hear his magic would leave?"

"No." Arthur looked down at Gaius. "No, I want him to have magic. It's part of what makes him him. That, and he's a clotpole."

Gaius stared for a moment before laughing. Arthur joined in until they both heard a weak voice; neither one had noticed the thrashing stop, or the objects cease movement.

"I'm hurt, and you lot are just standing around laughing?" Merlin said weakly. He smiled at them, and Arthur immediately fell to his knees beside the low bed.

"How do you feel?" Gaius asked professionally. Merlin stared at him.

"I don't really feel much of anything. Should I?" Merlin looked concerned. Arthur really didn't care how he looked, just as long as it wasn't dead.

"That's not very good." Gaius tugged back Merlin's sheet covers. "Can you stand up for me?"

Merlin frowned. "No."

Arthur stood again. "Sure you can, Merlin. You're better, you're talking, you can stand up." Arthur watched Merlin, and Merlin just stared back at him with concern.

"Arthur, are you alright?" Merlin asked gently, and Arthur looked at him like he was insane.

"Of course I'm alright. I'll be even better when you get up." Arthur paused for a moment to allow Merlin the time to move. "Get up, Merlin!"

"Arthur, stop shouting at him. He may have been paralyzed. With a deep blow to the spine like that, I was afraid this might happen." Gaius left and returned shortly with a potion. "I prepared this. It should work."

Gaius tipped Merlin's head back, and Merlin obediently opened his mouth. Gaius helped him drink the potion.

"God, that's awful." Merlin sputtered, and Gaius took the vial away, bending down to whisper in Merlin's ear. Arthur listened harder, curious.

"Merlin, Arthur knows your secret, he knows about your magic." Gaius told Merlin quietly; Merlin jerked in surprise and groaned.

"He's here to have me hanged, isn't he?" Merlin hissed softly. Gaius shook his head.

"No, he's not." Gaius smiled a bit.

"Why are you telling me this now?" Merlin asked. The smile fell from Gaius' face.

"It's okay to use magic in front of him now, because it's the only way that potion will work completely. You're working on borrowed time right now, you're only awake because of the temporary cleansing of a potion I gave you earlier." Gaius paused for a moment, debating over his next words. "And you won't be alive much longer if you don't do this." he told Merlin truthfully.

Merlin hesitated, looking up at Arthur. Arthur looked away quickly, trying to be nonchalant. Merlin sighed.

"I'll do it." he agreed, and Gaius took Merlin's hand.

"I must warn you, Merlin, when you do this, it will be terribly painful. But you will survive, I can assure you of that. And you will be able to heal once the magic is gone. I'll tell you a second spell to fix everything after you do the first one."

Merlin nodded once. "I'm ready. What's the first spell?"

Gaius squeezed his apprentice's hand and recited to him a stream of Latin, which Merlin repeated. Arthur looked back down at him as he spoke, watching his eyes glow and then shut heavily. Gaius leaned down and whispered the words of the second spell in his ear.

Gaius let go of Merlin's hand and took a step back before giving Arthur a look that made him take a step back, as well.

"When he finishes, we'll need to get him into the front room as soon as possible so I can work on stopping the bleeding." Gaius told Arthur seriously. Arthur frowned.

"The bleeding?" he asked, almost afraid to know the answer, but too curious not to.

"This spell is going to cause the infecting magic to leave him." Gaius looked over Merlin worriedly. "He'll get slashes all over his body, and the magic will bleed out of him. Like an infection." Gaius sighed and met Arthur's eyes. "Let's pray it's quick."

"Tell me when to get him in there, and I'll do it." Arthur promised. "Will he still be paralyzed?"

"He won't be after a bit of time. His own magic will fix that when his body is cleansed." Gaius pushed the books on the floor away from the bed with his foot. Arthur's eyes raked over Merlin's still body.

"When will it start?" Arthur asked. Gaius looked back up.

"Soon." He looked at Arthur's face. "Arthur." Gaius waited for Arthur to look into his eyes. "No matter what Merlin says or does, do not listen to him. Do what I say, and what I say only, okay?"

Arthur hesitated. "Yes, Gaius. I give you my word."

"Thank you, Sire." Gaius turned his attention back to Merlin. "We should remove his clothes so we have easier access to the wounds."

Arthur nodded and quietly helped Gaius strip Merlin's clothes off. He threw the articles into a pile in the corner just as the potion began to kick in. He focused back on Merlin as objects lifted into the air around them.

Arthur had never seen anything so painful to watch. Merlin's eyes shot open, his mouth twisted in a silent scream. His back arched, heaving his torso off the bed. This time, he did scream. Arthur winced at the sound of it. The objects began to fly about in a tornado.

Cuts and gashes started appearing all over Merlin's body. Vibrant red poured out of the wounds and splashed onto Merlin's translucent alabaster skin, ruby diamonds sparkling. Merlin screamed as it began; he screamed for Gaius, for Arthur, for Gwen, for Hunith. He screamed for them to kill him, to just let him die and end his suffering. The clattering of the twister of objects Merlin was unintentionally creating added to the dreadful din.

Arthur tried to ignore what Merlin was saying, tried to ignore the fact that his best friend was bleeding out right in front of him. He watched Gaius, who had his hands pressed tightly together to stop himself from doing anything, who had tears streaking down his wrinkled face that he didn't even seem to notice, who had his eyes glued to the young man who had become a son to him, watching him fall towards death before his eyes.

Arthur had expected the screams to get louder as more gashes appeared and Merlin lost more blood and gained more pain, but they got quieter, more pitiful. Sobs were interlaced with quiet bids for help, begging for someone to kill him. Arthur wanted to do something, anything, but he waited for Gaius' word.

When Merlin finally fell silent, his eyes rolling back into his head and fluttering shut, Gaius yelled something that threw Arthur into action, though he didn't hear exactly what it was. He was ready for any words Gaius would've spoken, like a tightly-wound spring.

Arthur scooped Merlin out of the crimson-stained bedsheets and carried him out into the front room. Nearly eveything in that room was flying about, too, possessed by Merlin's wild magic.

Gaius led him to his cleared patient's table, where Arthur laid the still, crumpled body. Blood was still coming out quickly. Arthur took a step back and wiped at his face, trying to push tears away. He was unsuccessful; the tears continued over the new streaks of Merlin's blood across his face. He watched Gaius work, wanting to help.

"What can I do?" Arthur asked quietly. Gaius didn't look up as he instructed Arthur to get an herb from his shelf that he would force Merlin to swallow.

"What will it do?" Arthur asked as he hurried to retrieve it. Gaius continued to attempt to stop the bleeding as he answered.

"Wake him up so he can stop the bleeding himself." Gaius snatched the herb from Arthur and pushed it into Merlin's mouth, making his jaw work to crush it and his throat swallow it. Merlin convulsed once and his eyes shot open.

Arthur would never forget this day for the rest of his life, but he'd never, ever forget the blood-curdling scream of agony that Merlin let out, not for the rest of eternity. Merlin struggled, trying to grab something. He grabbed Arthur's arm, and his eyes zeroed in on Arthur.

"Arthur, kill me, please, Arthur." Merlin stared at him, pleading, his eyes cloudy. "Please, Arthur! Please, kill me, please!"

"Gaius!" Arthur shouted, panicking. Gaius grabbed Merlin's head and turned it to meet his own eyes. Merlin sobbed once when he saw Gaius. The flying items in the room slammed into walls and crashed together noisily, panicking.

"Gaius, you love me, you know what's best for me. Gaius, let me die." Merlin shut his eyes again and screamed. Gaius held Merlin's head between his hands.

"Merlin, remember the second spell I told you? It'll make the pain stop, just say the words I told you." Gaius shook Merlin's head. "Do it, Merlin."

"Gaius, kill me." Merlin sobbed. He opened his eyes. "Do it, Gaius."

"Merlin, listen to Gaius. Say the second spell. Do it for me, for Gaius. Do it for your mother." Arthur blinked back tears forcefully. Merlin's eyes wheeled towards him tiredly.

Merlin closed his eyes and whispered quickly. Arthur fell to his knees as beams of golden light shot out of every gash Merlin had. They formed a hazy cloud around him before disappearing in a black hiss into the floor.

As soon as it left, the wounds all over Merlin's body began to close up. Gaius let out a sob of relief and let go of Merlin. His head lolled to the side uselessly as soon as Gaius let go, but he kept whispering.

When the gashes had all finally sealed and all that remained of them were scars, Merlin let out a heavy breath. He opened his eyes wearily, and all the flying objects fell to the floor noisily.

"That was exhausting." he slurred. Gaius laughed once, a short laugh filled with relief.

"I'll dress the wound on your back and clean you up, and we'll get you clothed and back in bed in no time." Gaius promised, and Merlin smiled at him tiredly.

"Thank you, Gaius." he sighed before rolling his head to see Arthur. "And thank you."

"I never want to see that again." Arthur whispered, and Merlin laughed.

"I never want to go through it again, so you're in luck." Merlin surveyed Arthur's face. "You look awful. You got a bit of blood on your face. I think you need a wash and some sleep."

"Merlin, you are covered in your own blood, you can barely say my name, and I can nearly see your bones, your skin is so pale. Now's not the time to be picking on me." Arthur laughed, and Merlin laughed a bit with him.

"Let's get you clean, dressed, and clothed, Merlin. Then you can sleep." Gaius said; and, with the help of Arthur, sat Merlin up and carried him to the tub. Merlin fell asleep a couple minutes in.

* * *

"Merlin, for the love of God and all that is holy, stop trying to get up." Arthur scolded as Gwen brought in a tray of food. Arthur pushed Merlin back onto the bed forcefully as he tried to rise to help. Merlin sighed and looked at his mother, asleep in a chair in the corner, before turning back to Arthur.

"Just let me walk around a bit, please?" Merlin pleaded, and Arthur exchanged a look with Gwen.

"Gaius said he was to stay in bed." Gwen reminded them, and Merlin sighed heavily again.

"But I'm so restless. I finally got feeling back into my legs completely, I want to use it." Merlin pouted at Gwen dramatically; she laughed and set the tray down on a small table.

"Fine, Arthur and I will take you for a short walk around the room, but that's it." Gwen wagged a finger at him maternally, and both Merlin and Arthur laughed.

"Yes, Mum." Merlin held his arms out so Arthur could help him into a sitting position. He inhaled sharply as Gwen and Arthur helped him onto his feet. With one friend on each side, Merlin made his way around the room, his legs weak, thin, and stumbling. He beamed proudly as he made it back to his bed.

"Thanks, you two." he grinned goofily up at the two of them. "You're the best."

Merlin got overcome by a massive yawn then, and Gwen helped him lay back down under the covers.

"Here, take your medicines and sleep some more." Gwen told him softly, handing him a couple of vials, a few capsules, and a bit of water. Merlin took everything with a grimace.

"All I do is sleep." Merlin sighed as Gwen took the small glass back. She pulled his covers up around him and he shut his eyes.

"You'll keep sleeping until you're better. Sweet dreams." she said soothingly. Merlin made a sighing noise of acknowledgement as he fell asleep, and Arthur kissed Gwen's temple.

"You're wonderful." he whispered to her, and she smiled.

"As are you." she kissed him once before pulling away to bring the tray out of the room. Hunith spoke up once she left.

"You're a lucky man to have her." she said softly. Arthur jumped a bit.

"I thought you were sleeping." he breathed, holding a hand to his chest. She smiled, and he laughed once.

"Hold onto her. Never let her go." Hunith told him. "Make sure she never lets you go, either. Both of you are quite the catch."

"Thank you, Hunith." Arthur inclined his head to her, and she to him.

"Thank you for taking care of my son." she whispered, and Arthur didn't answer. He just smiled.

* * *

"Will you tell me about Freya?" Arthur asked as he and Merlin ate lunch. Every day, Merlin sat himself up in bed and Arthur came by, sat in the chair by Merlin's bedside, and they ate together and talked about everything. They talked about everything from Merlin's magic to small issues with the kingdom, every day.

Merlin immediately fell silent and put his soup bowl down on the tray on the bed in front of him. Arthur put his own bowl down, as well.

"She was a Druid. She was the one captured by the bounty hunter all those years ago. I freed her, I hid her, and I took care of her." Merlin swallowed painfully. "We were going to leave Camelot together. But she was cursed, and she tried to leave without me, to save me and Camelot. But she was killed." Arthur opened his mouth to say something, but Merlin continued. "I carried her to where we wanted to live. It was perfect. There was a lake. Her body lays there now." Merlin paused to collect himself. "I saw her once in a vision, and she brought me a sword to stop the undead army. That's all. Nothing too important to you." Merlin picked up his soup bowl and pushed around the meat bits. Arthur stared at him in awe.

"You're the strongest man I've ever met, Merlin." Arthur said softly, and they left it at that.

* * *

"I'm going to ask Guinevere to marry me." Arthur announced as he helped Merlin stand. He dropped by in the mornings and afternoons to take Merlin for a walk while Gaius made some rounds. Merlin was slowly gaining back complete use of his legs, thanks to his magic, but he had to keep using them to make it work.

"Arthur, that's brilliant!" Merlin exclaimed. He groaned as Arthur helped him pull his boots on. "This will be magnificent."

"You'll be helping. That's where we're going today." Arthur helped Merlin into his jacket and adjusted his neckerchief. "You will use your magic to make a beautiful spot in the forest, and as I propose, magical things will happen."

"You're kidnapping me? What kind of magical things are we talking about here?" Merlin asked as he struggled along with Arthur towards the forest, limping heavily and mainly using Arthur to support his weight.

"Sunshine, rustling leaves, rainbows, birds chirping. Romantic things, you know. And I'm not kidnapping you, you're helping me." Arthur reached the outer limits of the forest. "Where shall we do it?"

"I know of a beautiful clearing down the furthest left path." Merlin suggested, and Arthur nodded, helping him slowly down the path. He set Merlin down into the spongy grass and stood up straight.

"I'm going to get Gwen. You set to work, Merlin." Arthur spun and began to leave before turning back. "Thank you."

Merlin smiled at him widely. "My pleasure."

Arthur grinned and left quickly. Once he had retrieved Guinevere, he brought her back to the site, her eyes covered.

Arthur pulled the cloth away and Gwen opened her eyes. She was greeted with a clearing empty of all beings but her and Arthur. The grass, sparkling with dew, was a healthy, lush green, soft underfoot. The trees created an overhang above them, with beams of sunlight shooting through at odd intervals, making Gwen light up and shine. Birds chirped cheerfully from the tall trees, and rainbows that seemed to come out of nowhere caught the eye every now and then. Gwen turned back to Arthur and said something Merlin couldn't hear from his hiding place behind a thick tree.

Merlin watched as Arthur got down on one knee and spoke to Guinevere, proposing to her. When she had her ring on, and she was hugging Arthur joyfully, Merlin whispered a spell. White doves fluttered out of bushes around them, flowers sprouted all in the grass, mainly around their feet, and they seemed to glow with an ethereal light. Merlin smiled and leaned against the tree tiredly.

* * *

Merlin really loved the cane that Arthur had carved for him. He had used the dragon Balinor had carved for Merlin as a model for the head, and Merlin used it all the time. He felt a power infused with the cane that he couldn't resist. Plus, he needed it to walk, so it had it's practical uses.

Merlin was completely covered in scars, including a deep one on his back reaching from his shoulder blade to his waist, but he had recovered from those easily. Despite having magic, he couldn't walk quite right. He could walk, jog, and even run should the need arise, but he preferred to use the cane. It made him less tired.

Merlin wandered the castle grounds aimlessly, his cane making an echoing thump every time he took another step. He passed Gaius' chambers, but knew Gaius wouldn't be asleep at such an early hour. Merlin enjoyed walks before sunrise to enjoy the peace.

He wound his way up the stairs to the main castle itself. He passed the children's quarters, past the royal hall, past the dining commons, and past the stairs leading to the King and Queen's chambers. Finally he reached his chambers, opening the door quietly and going in, locking the door behind him.

He made his way to his bed and climbed back in. Someday he'd share it with a woman, but not yet. He had the rest of his life ahead of him now, and he wasn't going to waste it.

Merlin rested his cane against the wall beside his bed and fell into a peaceful sleep.

 

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me on Twitter at [@nicoIodeon](https://twitter.com/nicoIodeon) or on Tumblr at [andillwriteyouatragedy](http://andillwriteyouatragedy.tumblr.com/).


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